i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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