At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
