:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
