Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
