it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
