Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize