yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Houston, we have a blender
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm always down for nudity.
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