i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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