You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
