Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
