she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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