Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
