Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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