I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize