Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
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