Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
