Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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