so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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