She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
