I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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