Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize