normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
