A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
