The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
