Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
