i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I stole a fireplace last night.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
