ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
why is half of my head shaved?
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