She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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