That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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