We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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