Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
