Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
she looked like the before picture.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
