Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
