i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
