McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
