I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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