tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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