More tranny stories later!
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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