there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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