some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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