I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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