I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
