So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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