Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
