I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
