; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
