i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
