I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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