By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Randomize
