Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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