Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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