Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
