Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
