i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
