We're like a lot better than the average bears
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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