i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.