what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(